"When you feel stuck in life and work, start by boiling a pan of water. Then see what you have. Some greens? A handful of olives? Even just butter and cheese will do …" Rachel Roddy
She actually forgot to mention that those ingredients are, in fact, to dress up the vital pasta because the words above were a lead in to an article about repetition I suppose, or the comfort of the known - in her case pasta.
Like Rachel Roddy I also often feel stuck in life. The sheer repitition of every day, and the same old, same old, however wonderful that same old is. It's a feeling that comes and goes and has been around a little of late. It probably shows up in the poor quality of some of my recent blogs. And indeed, tonight I was going to attack that feeling by making pasta - a three ingredient one - thus being able to tick off the three ingredient challenge in my diary, whilst at the same time making something comfortingly familiar for dinner. The three ingredients? Pasta, pesto and smoked salmon. Although I was sorely tempted to add leeks as an extra.
However, I now discover this is not to be, because my husband fancied some red wine with dinner, and red wine did not go with smoked salmon. So I have been forced into a rethink and now it will be pizza - which I'm really not that good at. My dough is always - well doughy - and the toppings are too much for the base - adding to the sogginess of the base I guess. Less is probably more when it comes to pizza, and as with many things that I cook, I find it difficult to restrain myself.
Nevertheless it's something I make over and over again. Never achieving perfection, and not even gradually getting better it seems to me. But familiar and sort of comforting. And I suppose it's never uneatable.
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein?
I found that quote when I was looking for 'again' quotes. In fact I found it on two separate sites - the second deciding that its origin was unknown. I rather like the idea that it was Albert Einstein, because it seems to me that he was wrong. Well when it comes to food anyway - no, when it comes to everything, because there is always something different in the process, the components, your mood, the weather even. You never do anything in life exactly the same way. Scientists might - well they have to - but not cooks. Probably not even restaurant chefs who theoretically have to make their pièce de résistance the exact same way every night.
Definition of again? "One more time" and "Back to the original place or condition" according to the Cambridge Dictionary, who also listed phrases including the word - 'again and again'; 'once again'; 'never again'; 'all over again', There may well be more. And that definition of 'One more time' - only one?
There's a certain negativity to all of those definitions I feel. A mild feeling of despair. Rachel Roddy was writing her article in the time of COVID - it's latter stages I think and was struggling with her usually more optimistic approach to 'again'.
“Again”: usually, that’s such a reassuring word in relation to cooking, suggesting often-made, much-loved dishes. Even “not again”, which makes me think of my grandfather, who complained about having the same thing again and again, but wouldn’t have had it any other way, is a sort of reassurance.
This November, however, “again” is different, filled with uncertainty and a sense of being suspended, which ripples out like sound waves. I, for one, keep feeling stuck – in life, work, writing and lunch."
When it comes to 'again' and food I guess it really does depend on your mood. Does 'again' give you a sense of certainty, that you will not be tested by the unexpected, a sense of familiarity and all those corny feelings of nostalgia and comfort that all will be well in spite of the uncertainty around you in the world? Or does it just evoke boredom and a feeling that nothing will ever change, that there are no new things to discover and be enchanted by?
So should I take W.C Fields advice?:
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it." W. C. Fields
Never make pizza again - or?:
"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better." Samuel Beckett
I like the 'fail better' bit of the above, because perfection as in this world's best pizza, is not achievable by mere mortals like me. Well I don't have a hot enough oven for a start. But I bet even those chefs cooking their super dishes over and over again, mess with them every now and then, in an attempt to make them even better, as well as just relieving the boredom of again, and again, and again ...
Maybe that's why I keep on writing this blog. Simultaneously it is the same and not the same. Yet another post, rambling around this and that. Sometimes even the same subjects, emotions, happenings, foods are repeated over and over again. But they are never the same. They might be worse, but they are not the same, and at the end of having written one, however unexceptional I can feel that I have at least thought about a few things, not necessarily food related either, and have managed to tick a box in my diary. It's like putting something on the table for dinner even if it's pretty ordinary, and occasionally even identical to what we had a few days before - because I've just reheated it. Although even that means that it won't be exactly the same. Reheated food is never the same as when it was fresh - sometimes better, sometimes worse. But there it is - dinner again. It's an achievement - sometimes a big one, sometimes not.
Rachel Roddy cheers herself up by making pasta:
"Unlike writing, where there is no guarantee that what you put on paper will be any good, pasta tossed with tomatoes, an umami sludge of anchovy and onion, or butter and cheese is invariably good.
Putting water on for pasta is a sort of switch that propels you to action. What have you got? Tinned plum tomatoes that can be chopped, then simmered with olive oil, sliced garlic and chilli. Or tuna, sardines or anchovies to add to sliced, sautéed onion with a handful of olives and a sunny amount of lemon zest. ..."
And the list goes on, and you know, you almost can't fail with pasta.
I shall have to try harder with pizza than pasta but I will. I'm not giving up yet. I should look upon it as a challenge. Like continuing to have something interesting to say.
YEARS GONE BY
March 8
2024 - Butter chicken cheats
2023 - Nothing
2020 - Deleted
2019 - Nothing
2018 - Nothing
Loved this
Life is a struggle and as one gets older the uphill parts seem tougher. Watering the garden is my bette noir, as it occurs every evening about now - 5pm. Ah well onwards and upwards as I use to say to Betty! 😴