“I tell my students there is such a thing as ‘writer’s block,’ and they should respect it. It’s blocked because it ought to be blocked, because you haven’t got it right now.” Toni Morrison
You have probably noticed that I haven't been writing much of late, and when I have it's not been anything very wonderful either. Part of the reason has been interruptions of one kind or another, but the main one has been that I simply cannot think of anything to say - let alone anything even ever so slightly new. My brain keeps churning away - as in the striking picture above - but it's not focussed.
I have rifled through my ideas lists, my various pseudo-projects, and each time I have confronted one of them I have just balked. In the past I have taken the advice of many famous writers who tell you to just write something, anything and inspiration will come. But not of late. I have even started a few and given up after a few lines. So when I saw Toni Morrison's quote above I thought, - oh well, maybe I just haven't got it right now.
And then I found this quote - "Quotes are nothing but inspiration for the uninspired" by Richard Kemp, which made me feel even more of a failure, to which were added numerous quotes along the lines of 'writer's block' - which I suppose is what I am suffering from - being actually a symptom of a psychological state - even depression. So I told myself I really had to pull myself together and do something.
So enough. I will shake myself out of the depression of not having anything to say, and return to my current lucky dip. And yes I tried this the other day, but was so unimpressed by the page I chose that I decided to try again, and again, and again - all with the same result of - 'no can't think of anything to say about that.' Whichmaybe was punishment for breaking the rules and looking for a better option. So it was rejected as a suitable writer's block breaker and set aside. But it's a big book and it keeps looking at me, so today, having tried all those other block crumblers, I came back to it. And I also chided myself for chickening out of the principle of picking a random page and returned to the original page.
First a couple of words about the book. I picked it up in my local Savers store for the princely sum of $3.00. It's by Lorenza de' Medici - yes those Medicis. She was a direct descendant and like them lived near Florence, writing multiple cookbooks and running a cooking school as well. She died in 2023 at the age of 97 - a very goodly age. Unsurprisingly for somebody descended from such an illustrious family The Times described her cooking as 'explicitly upper class'. 'The Beautiful' series of cookbooks are indeed just that, romanticising their chosen places with sumptuous photographs but always with food that is worth the effort.
So why was I so uninspired by my chosen page? Well there are four recipes on the page - all for fish - here are three of them: Spannocchie allo scoglio (Baked marinated shrimp); Seppie ripiene (Stuffed cuttlefish); and Trote al frantoio (Grilled trout). First thing - I cannot stand cuttlefish - or octopus come to that, and I'm not a huge fan of squid either, although sometimes salt and pepper calamari is OK. The first recipe on the page was the cuttlefish one, and so I immediately was repelled. Although now that I think of it maybe I could have riffed on why we all like and dislike different things. Maybe another time. The shrimps - well prawns as we know them here - are also not an option in this house, much as I love them. I think I have only once cooked any and I had made the mistake of buying them raw and whole, and so had to go throught the whole shelling and gutting process, and then I think I overcooked them. So I save them for a dining out experience these days. And I do completely understand that when it comes to fish usually the simpler the approach to cooking them the better, but grilled trout - well there's not much to say is there?
What about the Triglie alla Livornese (Fried red mullet in tomato sauce), however, the fourth recipe on the page? The link is to a recipe by Emiko Davies - none of Lorenza de' Medici's recipes are online - but the photograph of the dish in my book is one of the featured photographs in the opening pages of the book - the main purpose here being to romanticise the beautiful Tuscan countryside - albeit - the relatively unknown flatter land near the sea and LIvorno. You can barely see the fish dish. Don't you wish you were there about to eat a simple but exquisite dish of red mullet and Italian tomatoes? For there isn't much more to it - just some garlic, olive oil and parsley. Freshness and quality of ingredients is key here of course.
Note the beautiful looking bread. Not as beautiful to eat though, Tuscan bread. There is no salt in it and to us it always tasted stale and heavy. Which could be said on most of Italian bread I think.
So have I said anything meaningful? Not really. Perhaps I am a tiny bit depressed. I'm currently uninspired, and seeing all those beautiful photographs of a far, far away land adds to the sadness as it is unlikely I shall visit them again. But then I should remember that I have been very lucky to have actually been there - back in 2007 - in a beautiful old villa with an amazing view not far from beautiful Lucca and the coast at Viareggio. And of course we visited Florence and Siena too with friends and David's sister - sadly no longer with us. It was our second trip to Italy back in 2007 and to be honest, although Tuscany is lovely I think, on reflection it was probably our least favourite part of Italy - that we have visited. Maybe it's just got too many tourists. Not that there were any where we were. Two photographs - those highly decorated Tuscan plates, and the view from our temporary home.
It's time to stop and cook the dinner, which sort of coincidentally will be pasta, because I have some of that marmalade chicken left to use up, and I thought pasta would do the trick. Plus zucchini, cream and cheese. Maybe some leek as well.
Tomorrow we have friends coming to lunch, so there may be more to say about that.
So I've written something - something very inconsequential I have to say - but maybe my next lucky dip will be more inspiring. A tick for doing something at least.
“Writer’s block is just a symptom of feeling like you have nothing to say, combined with the rather weird idea that you should feel the need to say something. Why? If you have something to say, then say it. If not, enjoy the silence while it lasts. The noise will return soon enough.” Hugh MacLeod
POSTSCRIPT
I wonder if I was suffering from writer's block back then on September 25.
2023 - A photograph
2021 - Eating gin and tonic
2020 - Dull day, dull mind - it happens all the time you see. Not that it's been a dull day.
2019 - Nothing - maybe it was just too dull to get the brain going
2018 - Nothing going on in my brain then either
2017 - Palm trees
2016 - Dukkah - quick and easy
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